my parents dont like my chinese girlfriend, how can i change their mind?
I’m 20, studying medicine (first year) and im korean. I met this Malaysian (chinese) girl and is now completely in love with her.
i told my parents and they went ballistic, saying i have enough work to concentrate on and that i wont have time for girlfriend. They are even more angry by the fact that she’s chinese malaysian, and they are going on about how culturally different marriage will destroy the entire family and that their grandchildren wont be able to speak korean, and that they wont be able to communicate with my girlfriend as they are “not good at english” (but they are good) and all that bullshit. im really upset now, and also feel really bad for my girlfriend as well. they are saying they dont even want to meet her…..what can i do about this?? any advice please??
plus im not even thinking about marriage im only 20!! are they just over reacting, will they accept it over time??
do you think what they are saying is true about studying though?? medicine has a lot of work by the way, but i think i can handle it…
Dean Cortez answers:
Hey don’t give up..my parents went off like that too. Im dating a vietnamese guy and that his parents doesnt speak much english too, and my parents does. And he is Buddhism..and they went off about him marrying me and how about my kids not being able to speak my language. Don’t give up..i fought for my love. And he did too. We’ve been dating now for 3 years. And we are both 19. They will leave you alone if you fight for your love… Its not like you’re going to marry her..you guys are just dating..BUT fight for it..its your life and future..not theirs…they cant tell you who to love and spend the rest of your life with. I hate how asians parents do this to us (their kids) they’re so tradiational and all the BULL.
im malaysian indian n my girlfriend is chirstian?
we both love very sincerely since 4 year now my question did can i marry her in church with out convert to chirstian bcs the problem my parents agree to register marriages we both but my girl parents did not agree for that they want me marry in church.but my girl also say let i come out frm home n register marry but that like im feel like im take off my girl they are parents so who can give me good answer for this question did can marry in church with out convert or just register.
Dean Cortez answers:
One of the first things that comes up in a relationship (marriage or not) is what faith your boyfriend/girlfriend follows. Some faiths are not compatible, others more so. What is more important is that if your faith is meaningful to you then the person you love should accept it as a part of you.
I don’t believe you have to be a Christian to necessarily be married in a Christian church. The ceremony may not be led by the pastor/priest of that church — but it would be held IN the church, if the congregation allows their church to be used in civil marriage ceremonies.
Ask the pastor/priest of the church for advice. Any person of faith in a leadership position is NOT going to advocate conversion for the sake of marriage to satisfy the expectations of the PARENTS of one of the couple.
I hope the parents of the girlfriend are willing to compromise (civil wedding in church or non-denonminational ceremony by authorized individual to perform marriages), but if they aren’t, you and your girlfriend should have a sit-down meeting with them to explain your feelings and position. It’s not wrong to want to remain strong in your own faith — there are MANY mixed-faith couples who can testify to the strength of their marriage.
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