Singapore Girl Perfume

Important emails?

Thanks to my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004 and 2005. It’s so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! I’m sure you wish to thank me for the same!

Because of you:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it’s good for removing toilet stains. I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer. I don’t leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

I stopped consuming several foods because you said the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can – you said that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don’t mix with anybody – you said that someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the $15,000.00 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program. It’s weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

PS: If you don’t send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will shit on you tomorrow at 3:00 PM!

How is this mail of a frustrated victim of chain mails?

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009 and continuing it in 2010 also…….
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it’s good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer…
* I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don’t look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she’s been 7 since 1993…)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle’s property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those “Wishes” are already married (to someone else)
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now………………… but who knows. So please forward.

–
Regards’
********

? Reply ?Reply to all ?Forward

Shaka’s Funnies – Rate 1 to 10?

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this
past year……..

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about
rat **** in the glue on envelopes because I now have
to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
sealing. also, I now have to scrub the top of every
can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the
hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a
long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena
has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends
and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola
because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along
to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my
back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and
Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine
because a big brown African spider is lurking under
the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my
bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up
the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with
diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest
your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of my next door neighbour’s
ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s
beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist after a
lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ
who have infrequent sexual activity always read their
e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

Why do people dislike/discriminate against Indians?

I’m a thirteen year old who lives in Singapore – born and raised here, I’m a Singaporean. But I’m also an Indian since both my parents are from India and are Indians and so is most of my family (Indian, Malaysian, Irish and Burmese descent). I’ve always been proud to be who I am and people have always accepted me as an Indian. However, sometimes I notice some people tend not to sit next to Indians on the bus or train (subway). This year, when I joined the choir at my school, there were only three non-Chinese – another Indian girl, a Malay girl and myself. We were never discriminated against, everyone is very nice to me. But there’s one girl who used to bother me (she stopped now) by saying nasty things like when I was trying to find my shoes, she said “I think your shoes don’t like you.” and I asked why and she replied “Because they’re white and you’re black…your shoes are racist haha” and she just left. She’s done stuff like that before and it really hurts me when I think about it.

So, back to my question. I’ve been doing some research on why some people dislike us but I just don’t understand. It’s worldwide – some Americans, some British, some Australians, some Pakistanis, etc. Some people say we have funny accents (I don’t think I do, my friends are very frank people and I’ve always been taught to speak good English since I was young), we’re proud and think our race is the best (I have nothing against other races, most of my friends are Chinese and Malay and some Indians as well), we smell and don’t bathe (I bathe like 2-3 times a day! And as far as I know I don’t smell I wear deo and perfume) and hate our customs and caste-system as well (I don’t believe in the caste system and I frankly don’t like arranged marriages or dowry – my parents had a normal, non arranged marriage). I really don’t geddit since nobody I know who’s Indian smells or has a weird accent or any of the above. Could someone please tell me then why people dislike us (SOME people, most are very nice)?

Forwarded Question Lol?

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year.

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving b ecause the number one pastime while driving alone is picking their nose. (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a g uilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans-fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. (ßHAHA Water Buffalo!!!!-Jenn)

Th anks t o you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup o f water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face…disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a n e edle inf ected with HIV.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan & nbsp;…

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don’t s e nd this e-mai l to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician…

Have a wonderful day….

Oh, by the way…..

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t even bother taking it off now it’s too late!!

Do you do what chain letters tell you to?

Here is a someones interpretation of the effects of chain letters

THANKS TO THE INTERNET…

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop being in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up the car.
I no longer drink Pepsi since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.
I no longer use glad wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face… disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me – that’s if they don’t steal my kidneys too.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer have any sneakers – but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a white tailed spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
I can’t ever pick up $10 I dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
Oh, and don’t forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy petrol from certain petrol companies on certain days!

If you don’t send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbours ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician
Sabrina K
Why the hell not, I need some new material LOL
Cheers my friend

Is this a good email?

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year…….

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo and urine in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. AND never drink beer out of the bottle.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail programme or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to at least seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my backside.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sexual pervert waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 3 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 8:00pm this evening. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with a low IQ, who have infrequent sexual activity, always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late!!